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Saturday, September 22, 2018

Well Bae... Here's a happy testimony kind of letter

Dear Bae,
I am learning this and I hope you see what I see as well;
The only way to focus on God is to surround yourself with things that points you to His grace and love; the contents and materials you take in (what you see and hear, read), it should all be around you. And I know its not easy, but be concious.
Being concious = making the right decisions about this.
I have decided on this. It should be me seeing life lived in the best way possible as I lean on Gods grace and love - it should be everything else that revolves around this.
It should be beauty and style, music and romance, pretty nail polish and flowers, letters and red and sea green, photos and inspiration, pinterest and sweetened chocolate coffee, books and movies, blogs and emails, friends and happiness, living fully and love, love, love, etc - all revolving around His #lovely grace and love. Lean into it.
Hints of God can be found in all the #lovely because they evaporate from that hot boiling being of God inside of you. You are human, and you are loved unconditionally, and you are letting this love make you into a happy testimony.
Life = a happy testimony
And right where you are (in your imperfection) is where you should be because God isn't looking for a perfectly orchestrated robotic testimony. He wants it to be what it is - evaporating steam from His being inside you.
Here Bae,
YOUR BROKENNESS IS WELCOME HERE.
I recently discovered this online movement. It's all over social media. Use this: #soulscripts. You will find it: stories of how that one statement has saved life's from being anything else but a happy testimony.
God isn't looking at you, shaking His head as He whispers to Himself out of pity,
"She just doesn't learn her lesson. Don't be broken, I told her that a thousand times, but no. She let's herself break again and again. She leans on the wrong things, she falls, she breaks. When will she ever learn."
No, no, no. That's not God.
God is more like,
"Poor guy. Hey, Angel Gabriel, go let him know that he can still lean on my grace and love. Let Him know he is welcome to lean anytime. I can see he is broken again."
That's what I believe, Bae. It's not perfection. It's beautiful, its life = happy testimony.
Yours,
Victoria.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Dearie, a small narration of me and a fire accident (the story you've been waiting for since forever)

This is it dearie.
There was a bright light. It was blinding. From the corner of my eye I could see my mother trying to put off the fire on her left arm- it was frighteningly blazing- her arm.
I felt warm, not hot, warm.
All I could really register in my brain was the voice of my younger brother shouting 'Blood of Jesus' as he ran out of the kitchen. A funny scenerio when you think about it now, because he is NEVER the Blood of Jesus type.
I don't remember my steps, but I saw my mother in front of me still struggling to put out the flames on her hand. I was still in the kitchen_ shocked, too shocked. She was just outside of it. My elder brother was then squatting close to her apparently helping her in whatever way he did.
** My heart hurts... The memory of it is painful. For a second or more, I thought I had lost my mother. **
I felt too hot for my liking... I felt like crying. I thought, 'God, I need to get out of here'
I ran outside, allowing the cool breeze of the night to envelope me. It was just too hot to keep still, so I kept running all the while screaming the only thing that came out of my mouth- FIRE. Yeah, the pain was excruciating by then. Only, it wasn't exactly 'pain', it was pepperish  and hot at the same time. The feeling you get in your tongue when a meal is overly peppery & too hot but you just have to eat because you're so darn hungry.
The feeling was on the back of my neck and ears, my legs and hands, my face... It was terrible.
But you know what? I never, for even a moment, thought I was going to die. But I knew it was a big thing that would result in the worst days of my life.
And I just have to add: its embarrassing to admit but I actually had one of those stupid thoughts (I've realised they are really stupid, idiotic, barbaric, foolish ...okay stop... thoughts). Those thoughts that go; "oh my God, this did not just happen to me. THIS DID NOT JUST HAPPEN TO ME! I am not the person who is supposed to play the 'victim' role in this heck of a universe!"
What?! Did I really think that?
*Victoria, to were so damn stupid. But thank God you are not like that again. Hopefully.*
The other day, while I and one of my amazing BFFs were purchasing something at one store like that, I got into a conversation with (arguably) the nicest sales man.
He said something that brought me to a calm realisation which is just WOW.
In the midst of the conversation:
Man: so did you like, ehmmm, feel like you were going to die?
Me: no. I didn't. I didn't even think of it.
Man: ok. The thing is 'sometimes its just your fate.'
Do note that the only words I can half trust in this remembrance from the back of my brain (as they always say) is 'sometimes its just your fate.' But it was definitely something about fate.
Fate? Please. I laugh at the face of fate. I snicker at it and whatever it thinks it is. Me? What my life's dream is, is what I set my entire existence on, because it is my whole heart;all I believe in- that dream. Darn fate.
I wonder. Will I publish this long letter or will I decide that I am not yet ready to be this vulnerable.
But since you're reading this, do me a favor- share this story with your friends. Offline, online, on social media, and God knows where else.
Toodles dearie,
Victoria.

Babycakes, here's how I found THE FAULTS IN OUR STARS.

Babycakes,
I'm reading this book by John Green and I say (with Madrid from Disney's Liv & Maddie) 'BAM--WHAT?!'
Ok, to be realistic, THE FAULT IN OUR STARS(TFIOS) by John Green and EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING by Nichola Yoon are the best YA novels ever! And I'm not even done with TFIOS yet. Just too excited about sharing.
So this other day from earlier this year, I was in a tricycle going to heaven remembers where and, unsurprisingly, (as many Nigerian man do this days), the passenger sitting beside me began a flirting process. Apparently he ended up telling me about the book and its movie. I being a bookaholic had already read of the book online (on Hannah Brenchers blog I reckon. She shared about a lot of awesome books on that post). And I told him I've heard of the book blah, blah, blah. Forget that guy.
Then... Yesterday I just felt like going through Hannah Brenchers old blog posts since she has refused to post. It seems to me she's so busy congratulating herself about her new book to think about people like me who are literally sitting on the sofa in her room waiting for her to update her God blessed blog regularly! She is some piece of amazing by the way you should check out that blog of hers. Anyways, I was going through the old blog posts and landed on the post of awesome books. Again. Since I had forgotten most of what was written, I read diligently to the end instead of scanning and found- yeap, TFIOS.
Then I remembered one ed sheeran song I watched in my bros phone that featured a photo of TFIOS' movie, Hazel Grace and Augustus- the main characters.
Went to google immediately to search for a site where I could read the book for free. I found one and dug into the book: night reading.
Review? Beautiful, beautiful. Utterly beautiful.
Augustus and Hazel Grace, have some flowers for your #lovely, sweet souls and spirit. Your infinity is one of the biggest I've seen. You are the best.
Now, babycakes. Run 24/7 to your book store or visit pnovels.com to read online or you could download PDF.
You'll love the book, I'm sure.
Love,
Victoria.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Hey Honey... It begins right there...



Hey honey,
I was asking myself this (yep, I converse with myself sometimes. It is helpful, really. Try it.);
“Victoria, are you happy? Are you comfortable in your own skin?”
The reply;                       
“I’m not completely comfortable, but I think it is good enough. The thing is, when I meet my old friends I don’t want to be the one receiving sympathy. I want to be the one tells them everything is alright, not the other way around.”
This isn’t something I alone go through. We all go through it. After all, it is better to give than receive. I think we just love the feeling it gives us. So the answer to myself:
“People only believe that everything is alright; people only feel better by your encouragement when they look at your life and see testimonies of those words in lurking every corner. Not just your mouth is speaking it, but your life as well. It’s not something to be ashamed of- your fire scars- it is something to gladly testify about. If you let it, it could be strength and hope for those who need it.”
There you have it. Sometimes the thing we are most afraid of is a gateway to being light for those lost in the darkness. And I just realized this; no matter how much you try, you can never be happy if you don’t love yourself.
Love Yourself. It begins right there. The blessing, the light, the testimony, the dream, the whole art of living begins right, only when you love yourself. Believe me honey, life is not worth living without happiness. Ask the depressed and anxious people. It’s hard for them to live because they are not happy.
Love yourself – your dream, your hopes, your faith, your place in the world right now. Love it whole. Love it real. That’s the way to be happy, I think.
Graciously yours,
Victoria.

Monday, September 10, 2018

Darling You... go ahead and fall back, its okay.



Darling you…  go ahead & fall back, its okay.

Darling You,
You can’t be the person your heart dreams to be when grace and love is far. Grace and love is the foundation by which you thrive with your dream.
Its okay to fall back into Gods arms. They are ever open to catch you. We have the grace and love to guide us. And there will be days when we forget this. We forget how to lean on His grace and love. It becomes a time when we know there is something wrong, but we can’t place it.

I feel like I’m not leaning into it; something is not right, but as I write it is coming=   Its okay to fall back into Gods arms.


Read that again.

Its okay to fall back into Gods arms.


Yes the whole building design matters. Your dreams and goal and other aspect of life matters,  but how strong is the foundation?
I will love God, I will let His grace and love lit me, mold my dreams into being. That way, He takes the glory. I simply shouldn’t be far. I simply shouldn’t feel disconnected.
There is beauty and loveliness in knowing that life is not something that we build on anything that we build on anything else but grace and that life is not something to be built on anything else but love, and that life is not something to be built on anything else but love.

Grace & Love.




Those two things, they save us, strengthen us to live in the best way possible. They help us be the ones who move people and shake the world.
I’m not sure if that’s what you want to do. But if you ask me, I think it should be. Be the one who moves people’s spirit and souls to be great; who shakes up the world into something better by a semi ounce or less. Because it matters darling. Every act from grace and love matters_ people care more, mothers teach their children how to be light, children become stars… Its all so wonderful, and I can’t explain it.
I know myself. I’m just a cheap thingy that forgets she needs a foundation to lean on, a root to draw the #lovely nutrients from.

Don’t grow too far from the tree, branchy. Don’t grow too far or you just might end up a lone fruit (and I am not sure if that’s a bad thing or a good thing. But I go with bad, bad, bad.)


Its cheap, and then when I realize I’m about to snap/fall, I go back to the root for strength. Cheap, am I right? Then again, its okay to fall back into grace; to be wrapped and embraced in love. It is okay to be open to receive all the grace and love God offers. Just don’t forget how to be grateful. Don’t forget who it is that gives you the lovely in the mess of your ‘getting it.’ It is just that and this I have for today.
Trying to be a good branchy,
Victoria.
So,what do you think? Share your own story of falling back in the comments below.
And don't forget to share to your friends on social media.

Well Bae... Here's a happy testimony kind of letter

Dear Bae, I am learning this and I hope you see what I see as well; The only way to focus on God is to surround yourself with things that ...