Thursday, January 31, 2019

Dear T, love writes the story.

Hi. My name is T. I have an issue and I need your advice.
I have problems expressing myself though.
I've met a lot of guys who claim to like me. I am almost out of my teen years but I'm still under the responsibility of my aunt. At first I used to tell my aunt about it but she misunderstands me and thinks that I'm the kind of girl that has affairs. I tried my best to make her understand but she doesn't understand so now I leave her out of it and tell my friends about it instead.
Then I met a guy who claims to be madly in love with me, saying he will do anything to make me accept him. I simply told him I don't like him. But he said, he didn't mind because love doesn't come overnight. And that I should give him a chance to prove himself to me.
It was about a month and two weeks since his confession. On the day before we moved he found out about it and told me that as long as he loves me, he will look for me and he will find me. And I just thought it absurd. It's a huge world and it's impossible to find me kilometers from there. He didn't know anything about where we moving to. Well I didn't bother myself because I knew he wouldn't find me. Or so I thought.
The next day he was probably at work when we travelled. I was very happy to leave him behind.
Then it was two day's in our new home, I was informed that I had a visitor. I went to the door and I was amazed by what I saw. I was speechless. Standing before me was the guy. I simply walked back into the house and shut the door.
I didn't tell my aunt. I told a friend of mine and she told me what she thought about the whole thing. She insisted that he probably loves me and if I loved him. My reply was NO.
I got a job a little after and he soon started showing up at my workplace almost everyday. Wanting to see me because he "can stop thinking about me."
Everything has got me thinking,
Could it be that this guy really loves me as he claims. And too be realistic he spends a significant amount of money transporting himself across the state weekly.
I'm slowly realising that I'm opening up to him.
He also told me a few days ago that he knows I love him because his heart tells him so and he just wants a final answer from me.
And I'm so scared that he might be right.
What should I do?
Am I falling in love with this guy?
Why do I miss him whenever he's not around?
Why am I afraid of losing him the moment I tell him no?
Please I need your advice.
Hey T,
I am scared too. I am scared that I'll end up giving you a bad advice or an advice that will break your heart, because me? I don't know the one thing about love between a guy and a girl. I'm just too inexperienced.
I read your letter with my palm on my chest and sometimes over my gasping mouth. I am shocked by your story. I feel cheesy and giddy after reading it.
And when I was done gasping, and smiling, and thinking about how much this story will be a great fit for a romantic movie, and also pacing my room thinking what in this world of graced humans I should write as a reply, all the while remembering scenes and parts from my favorite movie and book - THE HEIRS & REDEEMING LOVE by Francine Rivers.
I simply decided to seek more wisdom. And now, sitting here, writing this, I'm so freaking scared. I keep thinking I am too inexperienced to give you advice about this.
But then another part of me is pushing me, because after all, this is what I wanted. The worst mistake I'll make is run away from it.
First thing is first, does he love you?
Honey, only God knows. But on my opinion, he does.
And the guy is right, love doesn't come once. Love grows. It starts small, it is slow but firm when it comes. And it comes by opening up your heart, even in the smallest way.
You T. You have obviously opened your heart, his love has slipped in and you are unsure of what is.
You could keep fighting it. You could keep running away from the fact that it's there, but it will keep growing there.
Another thing about love is that you don't just wake up and get rid of it. Love is hard to uproot.
T, if you miss him whenever he's gone then you're falling in love with this guy. And for me. I've learnt that when you love something or someone, love whole and true, love with everything. Love madly. Love even if you're scared of what is, or what could be, or would never be. Love even if you think you know the end of the story - and it doesn't end well. Just love.
You don't have to give him a reply you both dread. Telling him NO leaves the both of you broken. And broken is not good, honey. Trust me.
And until you accept the fact that you love him, you'll never be able to fix this.
So T, go ahead and tell him. Tell him what you feel, how you feel...
"Hey guy. I think I'm liking you. But I'm scared of that. And do you know why? Because I can see where this whole thing ends in_ a big pot full of the pieces of my broken heart. There's my aunt. And if we continue, it's both of us against the world. I'm not sure I can handle that. Can you?"
Telling him that is just a start. A small step of progress. Well good. Progress is good.
Yet, the question still stands. It's both of you against the world, can you handle that?
You both need to be able to give a straight answer to that question.
Maybe you need more time, let him wait for you. Maybe your fear won't let you give in, wait anyways. Love writes the story, not you & not him either.
Loving someone needs all of you. It doesn't come without planting itself deep in the depths of your heart. And it grows- courage is needed, sacrifice is needed, faith is needed for it to grow. Because there is a lot to overcome.
You have to want something bad enough to overcome any mountain standing between you and that thing. And if you look at the mountain and give up, then it simply isn't worth fighting for. But if your love keeps pushing you, ignoring your fear, pushing to overcome, its worth the fight. It's worth the fight, T. So fight with all of you, because love needs all of you.
Then once you let the love begin to push you, lean into it. Draw strength from the love. Its alright to be scared. Your fear only makes the whole thing realistic and more assuring.
Let love plant itself into your being, past your fears, past whatever you think you can't handle, then don't look past it. Don't look past what your love is growing into right in this moment. That's the only way to keep going.
It would be too bad if you look back to this moment from the future and think-
"I wish I had let love create a story in my life. I wish I had let love take all of me wholly & fully even though I was scared."
It will also be equally bad if you end up thinking you should have listened to your aunt instead.
But me. I'll always say choose love. I'll always write; "let love write this story no matter what. Love is the best at creating happily ever after's, so let it write yours."
In the end, T, you're left with the decision. Though I feel like I haven't helped you much. I hope this little help goes a long way.
Be a gift today and write your opinions to T. Please. She needs as much help as she can get. Send it to victoriaigeboo@gmail.com and I'll forward it to her. Thank you.

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